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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000255">Remaining pieces</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neurose_0/pseuds/Neurose_0'>Neurose_0</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eren and Mikasa ran away leaving Armin lol poor baby, Hurt/Comfort, I tried ok, Levi is Whipped (Shingeki no Kyojin), M/M, References to Depression, Slow Romance, armin is deeply hurt, levi is a virgin, sasha didn't die ok I'm coping, someone hug him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:41:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neurose_0/pseuds/Neurose_0</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin wanted to forget about them. About his beloved friends, about his first love. He wanted Eren to comeback, and he wanted Eren to die at the same time.<br/>Levi just wanted Armin to move on, to stop bothering him with those sad, blue eyes.<br/>So maybe he could help him to forget.<br/>But, what if things turn out in a completely unexpected way? A way he wasn't sure how to handle?<br/>He didn't know a single thing about touching another person, about being touched. Not in that... way.<br/>But Armin seemed to have awakened instincts that were sleeping deep within him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman/Armin Arlert, minor Eren/Mikasa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Talk to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! This is my first time writing something in english, so hopefully it isn't too bad.<br/>This is the altern reality where Eren and Mikasa make their escape, and leave Armin behind; I think Levi is the right person to comfort him, since he has lost too many of his loved ones. And I also love angst and Livarmin so fucking much, so why not?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Levi saw him crying at the lake, something awful started to crawl inside of him. Something quite unpredictable, and totally unusual.</p><p>He was completely alone, his all-life friends had abandoned him to die at war on his own, and Levi failed to understand the reasons behind that pair running away without the blond. </p><p>Of course they’d run away. It was all fucked up from the very start, Eren had only a few years remaining. Years or months? He couldn’t remeber at this point. But he thought they were inseparable. He thought that Armin was just as important as they were to each other, Eren never failed to surprise him, even at the bitter end.</p><p>-Brat… no, Armin-</p><p>Armin wasn’t really a brat, he was a quiet, smart child. He didn’t deserve to be called like that, even if Levi was so used to call all his cadets by names. The young, broken Armin looked straight into his eyes, and something squeezed inside Levi’s chest. How  could someone look this hurt?<br/>
He was so fucking aware of how was like to lose someone you truly cared about. He had to stand still and watch all his comrades die, but fuck, that your most loved ones actually left you behind…</p><p>He franctly couldn’t tell which one was worst.</p><p>-Isn’t it a bit too late for you to be outside?-</p><p>Of course this was an excuse to talk to him. Did the hour matter at this point?<br/>
There were no titans left, there were no war left.<br/>
Only the nightmares and the scars remained, but some were more broken than others. Armin wasn’t talking to anyone, wasn’t even eating, and his eyes were now surrounded by dark, awful circles. He somehow managed to appear even more fragile tan before, and that was getting on Levi’s nerves.</p><p>Armin couldn’t let himself die like this.</p><p>-I’m unable to sleep, sir-</p><p>Of course he wasn’t sleeping. Nobody who atended war was able to sleep after that. Levi himself was at his 48th hour awake. His eyes caught the young, broken Armin scratching the ground, pulling out some grass as if it was something revelator. Levi stepped closer, and sat beside him. The sky had no stars to show that night.</p><p>-You need to talk, Armin-</p><p>The blond seemed to froze at his captain’s words. His cheeks were red and kinda sored.</p><p>-I have nothing to say, captain-</p><p>It was a lie. He knew it. Armin needed to let it all out, or it was going to kill him with no doubt.</p><p>-Yes, you have-</p><p>The boy started to tremble, his eyes focusing on some high, far away place. Levi felt really sorry for him. He did care about his people, no matter how bad he was at expresing his feelings, so he just stayed still and waited for Armin to find the words he needed to say. They had all the time, so it didn’t really matter.</p><p>-I…-</p><p>He gasped for some air, his voice just louder than a whisper.</p><p>-I can’t understand why they left me behind, sir-</p><p>He watched as some new tears formed at the corner of the blond’s eye. </p><p>-We were a family, I always knew they were special to each other in a way I couldn’t completely understand, but still… they were my family-</p><p>The very first tear fell down.</p><p>-And where are they now? They wouldn’t even tell me, maybe they just want to forget about me cause I’m so weak and of course I’d be a burden to them-</p><p>There it was, all of Armin’s personal hell. What was he supposed to say? Was he even supposed to say something? He was not Erwin, he was not Armin. He was not much of a talker, so he did what he found was the wisest to do.<br/>
His arm slid over Armin’s shoulder, pulling him closer, and this caused him to sob even harder. Armin’s entire body was shaking violently. </p><p>-And now I survived through this hell, when many people stronger than me, more capable than me died… and for what? To feel this abandoned? To wish I’ve died with all the others?-</p><p>Levi let him hide his face on his neck, no matter how uncomfortable the boy’s tears felt on his skin. He even dared to hug him, in his own strange way.</p><p>-You have to live-</p><p>Were Levi’s words, as he made his throat clear. </p><p>-You have to live, so all our comrades didn’t die for nothing-</p><p>Armin started to openly cry. Desperate, hurting screams coming from his mouth and drowning in Levi’s skin.</p><p>-We need to live with no regrets, Armin. That’s our only way to honor our friends-</p><p>He knew the blond wasn’t stopping his cries anytime soon, so he just decided to continue.</p><p>-And about Eren and the other brat… can you really blame them, Arlet? They can be the strongest you want, but in the end they are just… brats-</p><p>Levi knew that. Even if Eren was almost a God, or Mikasa would someday become the new humanity’s strongest. In the end, they were just scared kids.<br/>
Leaving Armin behind was a completely fucking mistake, but he was no one to judge.</p><p>-They loved you in their own way, but you need to move on-</p><p>Levi rested his chin on Armin’s head, who slowly was regaining control over himself.</p><p>-You need to live with the memories, but build your own path-</p><p>-I’m afraid to be alone, sir. I can’t do this-</p><p>Levi breathed heavily, watching the lake’s waves as his heart became suddenly weak.<br/>
He wanted Arlet to go to sleep, to start eating again, to become a teacher someday… or some bullshit like that, cause the blond was smart as hell and Levi knew he would make a fucking amazing teacher.</p><p>So his own words caught him completely off guard. He couldn’t stop himself from speaking.</p><p>-You are not alone, kid. I’m staying with you until you can pull yourself together-</p><p>Just then was Armin able to raise his sight, looking clueless. He could have expected that words coming from anyone, but not from captain Levi. But then again, he felt so safe in his embrace.<br/>
How many years had passed since someone held him?<br/>
He just wanted someone to rely on.</p><p>-You just pretend to be made of steel, don’t you, sir?-</p><p>He talked with no second thoughts.</p><p>-But you’re very kind-</p><p>Levi gasped, suddenly embarrassed. No he wasn’t, he was… </p><p>-Don’t get any ideas, Arlet-</p><p>-Of course, sir-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Armin's desire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armin just wants someone to want him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I'm here with a longer chapter! I really appreciate your feedback a lot. Thank you so much for leaving comments and kudos. I hope you enjoy this. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armin became smaller under the blanket, and once again hoped for some merciful entity to come and take his life.</p><p>Levi had told him that he needed to live, to actually move on, but he knew that he’ll never be able to do that. His aspirations? His dreams? For too many years, he believed his dream was to explore the world, to see the ocean, to capture in his memories as much as he could. But now he was sure that wasn’t entirely true. Yes, he wanted to explore the world, but most of all, he wanted to see Eren and Mikasa exploring the world with him. He wanted to see them smile and be happy, he wanted them.</p><p>Now he only could hope for them to be safe, wherever they went. He tried to feel happy for them, because they were his most loved ones, and he was a good person, right? So it would be natural for him to be happy. At least they were alive, spending the rest of Eren’s lifetime in some remote, peaceful land.<br/>
But there was something unsettling, almost evil ripping his heart out, and no matter how hard he fought it, it kept coming back. He was hurt, he was broken… but he was also angry. So fucking angry. If they came back one day, what would he do? Ignore them?</p><p>No, he would actually hurt them. Just as they did to him.</p><p>He was the weakest among the three of them, at least physically. But he had some aces up his sleeve, and he knew how to use them so they could do as much damage as possible. And then again was he thinking about all those things, as if he were a monster. His breath became unsteady, his pulse racing and attempting to make him surrender to his darkest wish. No, of course he would never hurt them, because he loved them. They were his everything. He was so sick of them.<br/>
It was another sleepless night that he spent inside his brain, martyring himself. Letting all those terrible thoughts in and then fighting them out, on an eternal spiral that left him drained of all strength. If there was a God above, Armin wanted him to die. </p><p>He and the rest of the survey corps were staying outside the walls, on a base that they improvised almost a month ago. It was peaceful, actually. Every one of them had some demons, some trauma, some missing pieces; they didn’t fit anymore. In the city lived different people. People who had aspirations, people who could sleep for more than five hours without waking up in cold sweat and panic attacks. And that was something that soldiers couldn’t stand. So if Armin wanted to kill himself probably nobody would stop him, if he wasn’t eating probably nobody would notice. He was fine with it, because whenever he tried and grab something to eat, his stomach ached and he ended throwing up. </p><p>The first sunrays were making his way through the curtains, announcing the beginning of a new day. Was it actually a new day? How would he know? Every day was all the same. Where was Eren? </p><p>-Come back, I won’t be mad at you I promise-</p><p>The words came out of his mouth like a cry, like a quiet plea.<br/>
He felt the oh so well-known lump in his throat, he was about to cry again. </p><p>Armin wanted to die.</p><p>How much time did he have left, anyway? A couple years.<br/>
Since the end of war, he had not been able to turn into his –Bertolt’s– titan, no matter what. Was the monster still dormant inside of him? </p><p>A knock on the door brought him back to present, just when the first tears were rolling down his cheeks. Who?<br/>
If he just pretended to be sleeping maybe they, whoever it was, would left him alone. So he buried his face in the white, warm pillow, and drowned his cries. </p><p>–Arlet, if you don’t open the goddamn door I’m taking it down–</p><p>What was he doing there? Why was captain Levi knocking on his door? Armin knew that he probably felt sorry for him, for how pathetic he was. </p><p>–I’m feeling kinda sick today, sir–</p><p>It was not a lie. Armin felt sick every day.</p><p>–You feel sick because you haven’t eaten anything in days–</p><p>“Just leave me alone, captain. I beg you”.</p><p>Armin didn’t reply back. He just wanted to sink into the floor, to vanish, to be nowhere. Maybe if he dared to ignore Levi, his captain would get tired and eventually leave. </p><p>–I thought we’ve made a deal, Armin–</p><p>A deal? Levi offered his shoulder and Armin found himself so vulnerable, so desperate that he ended up telling him just how he felt. But that was a mistake, he regretted it instantly. Levi was a kind hearted person; the blond always knew it. Where everyone saw ice, he saw fire. Where everyone saw anger, he saw tears. And if Armin wasn’t careful enough, he would end up depending on his captain just as he did on his friends before. </p><p>“Just leave me alone”.</p><p>–Am I wrong? Well, last time I checked I was still your superior, so get the fuck up and take a shower. You have fifteen minutes, Arlet–</p><p>He heard Levi’s stealthy footsteps walking away.</p><p>Armin felt embarrassed all of sudden. Why was captain Levi telling him to take a shower? Did he smell bad? When was the last time he showered? </p><p>–I don’t even act like a proper human anymore–</p><p>He spoke to his reflection while shaving his face. It was the first time he noticed just how ugly he had turned. He was never someone who care about his looks at all, but to actually look like that…<br/>
His hair was just as long as he used to be when he was a child, his skin was as white as paper, his eyes looked like some dirty glass. </p><p>“Where is the real me? This can’t be me. Where am I?”</p><p>When he left his room, Levi was leaning against a wall, focusing on his boots but probably lost in his own mind. Armin’s steps made him rise his gaze, and the blond found something quite strange in those gray-blue eyes. What was it? Compassion? Guilt? </p><p>–Now you look like a human being–</p><p>Armin felt his cheeks burn. Did everyone watch him in that miserable state? Yes, probably.</p><p>–I’m sorry, captain–</p><p>Levi frowned.</p><p>–Why are you apologizing? –</p><p>Why was he apologizing? </p><p>–I was creating a bad impression of the Survey Corps, sir–</p><p>The older man just nodded, accepting the blond’s apologize. </p><p>–We are going to grab something to eat, then I need you to help me out with something–</p><p>Were Levi’s words as he started to walk away. He was completely sure that Armin would follow.<br/>
And he did so.</p><p>As they had breakfast, Armin started to notice some of Levi’s manners. How he cleaned his mouth every minute or so, how he managed to grab the fork even when he was missing some fingers, how he would sometimes stare at him and then focus on his food again. It was kinda fascinating. This was humanity’s strongest, but he was still a human. Sometimes people seemed to forget about that.</p><p>For the first time in months, Armin managed to finish his meal. His stomach still felt a little churning, but he didn’t throw up and that was really something.<br/>
What captain Levi wanted him to help with, was nothing less than cleaning.</p><p>Cleaning the library.</p><p>It was a quiet place, away from the other cabins. Levi told him that nobody seemed to be interested in books, so they would just leave the place all dirty and abandoned. </p><p>–But you actually like this kinds of things, don’t you? –</p><p>Armin felt weird. Was captain Levi aware of his love for books? He cleared his throat, and nodded.</p><p>–Yes, sir. Reading was my hobby back then–</p><p>–Well, no one wants this old books, so feel free to grab whatever you want–</p><p>Armin’s eyes widened. </p><p>–But we are making this cabin fucking shine first–</p><p>The sun felt out of place. In fact, the whole situation felt out of place.<br/>
As if he had suddenly been taken out of deep waters and put back to the ground. He found himself actually cleaning.<br/>
Cleaning a library.<br/>
With captain Levi.<br/>
He felt the urge to laugh. What in the world was happening? His muscles were stiffened and ached with every little move he made, his bones cracking nonstop. When was the last time he moved his body?<br/>
Levi seemed so natural cleaning. Eyes focused and legs and hands moving mechanically. Armin, for the first time, took a moment to check out his captain. He, unlike him, had not lost his physical condition; his legs still muscular and his torso remained slim. The blond felt ashamed of his own body, now just flesh and bones. Levi’s hair was just a few inches longer, falling gracefully on his forehead. Armin thought about the moment Levi had hugged him, how warm his arms felt, how, just for a tiny moment, he remembered the times when Eren held him like that… how he would never tell his best friend he was actually in love with him.</p><p>–Oi, Arlet, I’m talking to you–</p><p>Levi’s hand was placed in front of Armin’s eyes, trying to grab the blond’s attention. He was spacing out again.</p><p>–Sorry, sir. I was not paying attention, I’m sorry–</p><p>–You need to get out of that mind of yours, Arlet. We are here, just the two of us–</p><p>Armin knew that words had no second meaning, but why did he catch something… off?<br/>
He tried to fix his eyes on some book. He… why? Why was he craving for another one’s touch so desperately?<br/>
“Hold me just like they used to”. He wanted to scream. To run away from captain Levi, the very first person who showed interest in him after war. The colossal was no longer needed, Armin had no value now but his captain cared. </p><p>–Are you okay? –</p><p>Levi could read him like an open book, so he grabbed his wrist to prevent him from running away, and his touch burned.</p><p>–I…–</p><p>The air escaped his lungs, he felt like a fish dying out of water.<br/>
“What am I doing?”</p><p>–I told you to stop thinking about things you cannot change–</p><p>Oh, but he surely could change the distance between he and captain Levi. Shorten it. Feel safe again.<br/>
His big, blue eyes met Levi’s gaze, and for the first time, Levi seemed confused. He tried to maintain a safe gap because he realized what was hiding behind Armin’s eyes. He tried to pull away, actually in panick, but it was too late.</p><p>Armin’s fingers tangled into Levi’s shirt, pulling him closer, and smashing their mouths together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Let's make a deal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armin wants to get over Eren, and Levi wants to learn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Levi saw everything in slow motion.</p><p>The blond getting closer, blue eyes losing their light as if someone had turned them off. The other’s body leaning against his, the unexpected warm and wet sensation of another pair of lips on his. </p><p>It was Levi’s first kiss, actually, and it’s not like he was planning on kissing someone.</p><p>Ever.</p><p>So he didn’t know how to react, his brain shut down, his body froze entirely. Armin had him grabbed by his shirt, his back glued to the wall that he’d swear was many meters away, and for god’s sake, why wasn’t the blond letting him go? He felt some weird thing moving inside him, crawling and pulling him by his guts. Something was making him sweat, and for some reason he failed to understand, he didn’t kick Armin away. If someone asked him days ago what would he do if a soldier –anyone, actually– dared to lick him that way, he would’ve answered that he’d kill him or her. Saliva was fucking disgusting, so he was staying away form that unnecessary display of affection.  It wasn’t like he had sexual desires, anyways. </p><p>But here he was, being kissed.</p><p>Being kissed by Armin, of all people.</p><p>And saliva wasn’t that gross after all, or that’s what his body keep telling him. </p><p>Armin pulled away just a few seconds later, and his eyes widened impossibly, as he came to the realization of what he just had done. Levi watched as the boy’s face turned into a ridiculous shade of red, and his hands started to shake. Levi himself was just standing there in disbelief, and even if he hated to admit it, his heart was racing.<br/>
They stared straight into the other’s gaze for long, eternal seconds, both unable to find something wise to say. If Armin wouldn’t start breathing, he was condemned to choke himself to death for sure. Levi needed to made up his mind. </p><p>He was a grown ass man, and Armin was no much more than a boy, so he needed to take control not just of himself, but of the whole situation.</p><p>–I don’t know why you did that–</p><p>He coughed, recomposing.</p><p>–And I’m not even asking. Make sure you don’t lose control like this ever again–</p><p>Armin fixed his eyes on the floor, too embarrassed to even look into his captain’s face.</p><p>Why the fuck did he do that? Kissing Levi?! He was the dumbest, most stupid being. </p><p>Now he was a shaky mess, and if Levi wouldn’t dismiss him anytime soon he was going to faint. He saw his own reflection in the window’s glass. Even his ears were red. </p><p>–Finish cleaning by yourself. I have…–</p><p>He raised his gaze just for a fraction of a second, and what he saw left him unsettled. </p><p>Levi’s cheeks were pale pink; he was looking… embarrassed?</p><p>–I have things to take care of–</p><p>Were the raven’s last words as he made his way out of the library. Just then was Armin able to inhale a huge breath of air, falling on his knees. He was out of his mind, no doubts left.</p><p>–Captain Levi is not Eren–</p><p>He repeated himself as the weight of his actions became heavier. He couldn’t understand why he kissed Levi. The only person he had kissed before was his best friend, Eren was his one and only. No one would know what they had, the little moments that were just theirs, the furtive glances, the secret encounters at midnight, the kisses and the caresses. They’d never tell anyone, not even Mikasa. And that was ripping up Armin’s heart, but he had no strength to stop it. He was foolishly in love, even when he knew Eren was using him to fill a void. He was just Eren’s way to feel human.</p><p>He tried convincing himself that it was the same for him, that he was just fulfilling a primary need. But every time his not-lover didn’t stay the night, every time Eren told him he was his dearest friend, something was breaking inside his chest. How long would he manage to keep that show going on? Hopefully enough. Hopefully if he tried hard enough, Eren would fall for him.</p><p>But that time didn’t come. </p><p>And now Armin’s hands felt empty and his skin begged for his lost almost-lover’s touch.</p><p>He stood up when he gathered enough strength, and pushed himself to clean the rest of the library, lost in his own mind.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
For Levi, the rest of the day was hell.<br/>
His mind couldn’t move on, didn’t want to move on.<br/>
The warm sensation, the weird closeness, the feeling of being touched and… </p><p>–Fuck off, Arlet–</p><p>He was upset. It was the first time in his entire life that he was actually trying for someone, he just wanted Armin to come back to life, because all the other soldiers were making good enough, and if it wasn’t for that sad blond, he could just isolate himself all he wanted. But know here he was, thinking about some fucking disgusting stuff and trying to figure out why his body reacted that way. Why it kept reacting to Armin’s past actions.</p><p>Now he didn’t know what to do anymore. Was it right to keep going on? Were things different now? Of course not. Levi was sure something happened to Armin, he saw the void in his eyes.</p><p>He barely knew a thing about making out, but if he was right, Armin knew how to kiss. So he couldn’t help but wonder… where did the blond learn that? </p><p>He was missing too many pieces, and rushing into conclusions wasn’t the right thing to do.</p><p>Levi was sitting on a chair, looking through the window in his search for the answers to all his questions. It was past midnight and the only sound that came to his ears was his own breath. His room was illuminated just by a single tiny candle. It was too quiet, and Levi enjoyed silence as much as that brat Sasha enjoyed food.<br/>
Of course he was not expecting the knock on his door. Who was brave enough to bother him that fucking late? And of course life hated him that much, too.<br/>
The shy, quiet knocks became louder until he could no longer ignore it, so he had no option but to open the door.</p><p>And there was young Armin, looking straight to the floor. Levi felt the urge to shut the door closed, and go on like he hadn’t seen him. But then again, Levi was way older than him, so he just couldn’t hide himself like a shy school girl. </p><p>–Whatever you need, wait until morning. If people see you here, they could get wrong ideas about us–</p><p>Armin shrugged, and Levi watched his ears getting red again.</p><p>–Please just let me explain I won’t steal much of your time, sir–</p><p>How could Levi tell him that he wanted him as far away as possible because he kept thinking about the goddamn kiss? </p><p>Levi remained silent, looking for the nicest way to dismiss him.</p><p>–You can explain yourself later–</p><p>He was about to close his door, when he felt Armin’s hands grabbing him by his sleeve.</p><p>–Please captain, I need to make myself clear. Please, give me just a minute and I will leave you alone–</p><p>–Listen, Arlet, I didn’t take that pers…–</p><p>They both heard steps nearby, getting closer to them. And Levi realized just how bad the whole situation would look for someone who hadn’t the whole context. Armin was fucking blushing and had him grabbed by his clothes… again. Was this going to become a habit of his?</p><p>–Get in–</p><p>Levi dragged Armin inside his room, closing the door just in time.<br/>
Armin gasped, surprised by the sudden change of scenery, and for Levi’s closeness too. His forehead was touching the raven’s collarbone; he could perceive the pleasant smell of Levi, and was a little too aware of the way his captain’s hand was squeezing his arm. What was he supposed to tell captain Levi? He spent the whole evening creating a speech, choosing carefully every word he would say so it didn’t seem as if he was some sexual predator or something. But now, he was forgetting about every single word he had learnt in his twenty-one years of existence, as some weird tension grew between him and Levi. </p><p>The older one seemed to notice that too, because he let go of Armin’s arm as if it was some cursed thing. They stared at each other like they did hours ago, but this time Levi appeared much more calm, his eyes were no longer confused. Just his usual cold expression.</p><p>–You got three minutes, Armin. You better start speaking–</p><p>Levi leaned on his desk, reaching for his now cold cup of tea, and waiting for the blond to say something.<br/>
Armin closed his eyes, feeling even smaller under his superior’s gaze. He needed to talk or Levi was going to think of him as a creep for the rest of his life.</p><p>–I was out of my mind, sir–</p><p>He started to talk.</p><p>–And I don’t know why I dared to do that to you, but I promise it won’t happen ever again. I am very confused and I don’t know how to cope, I don’t know how to understand that Eren is no longer with me, that…–</p><p>Levi raised a brow, keeping his eyes locked on Armin.</p><p>–That Eren is not touching me or comforting me anymore, that he is not going to kiss me one last time or even tell me that he…–</p><p>The blond realized that he was saying too much, that he was exposing him and Eren. His heart began to race; nervousness took hold of him. Why was Levi staring like that? Was he judging them? Did he feel disgusted? </p><p>–Oh God, forget what I just said, sir. I need to get out of here–</p><p>Armin was hearing a horrible buzz inside his brain, his fingers tingled as he headed towards his only way out.  Just a few steps and he could begin to run. To run far away from Levi, to find a place to hide and die. He had never been that embarrassed, he could actually faint.</p><p>Just when the sweet exit was a meter away, a hand grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him away. </p><p>“Oh, please tell me this is a demon’s hand. Tell me this is death that has come for me. Tell me this is not captain Levi”.</p><p>–So that’s what happens here–</p><p>Levi scanned Armin with an indecipherable gaze.</p><p>–You just mistook me for that brat, am I right? –</p><p>Armin felt humiliated. Yes, that was the truth, the pathetic truth. He just nodded, unable to move any other part of his body. Levi hadn’t let go of him yet, and Armin found something quite different in his face. Not a feature, but a completely new expression. It was curiosity what he discovered, pure curiosity dancing in Levi’s eyes.</p><p>–I see–</p><p>The whole situation had gotten out of his hand. This wasn’t even close to what he predicted was going to happen that night. So he could now expect anything. </p><p>–Arlet, you need to forget about Eren, but I don't know how to help you with that–</p><p>Armin nodded. No, he was not forgetting about Eren, but he wanted this to be over. He wanted captain Levi to let him go, and if saying yes to every sentence he made was the way out, he wasn’t doing nothing but agree.</p><p>–I think I can be useful, just to make you feel better, I guess. I want to learn some things and... You seem to know about it pretty well–</p><p>The blond choked as realization came to his mind. Levi’s hand was no longer retaining him, but it was drawing circles on his back, sending shivers down his spine.<br/>
Was captain Levi actually…?</p><p>–Of course accepting my suggestion is up to you, I just want to figure out why I was so affected by your kiss, and I think you need something I can't completely understand yet. You see, I’ve never been in a relationship other than camaraderie or even friendship, but I think it could be an interesting way to kill time–</p><p>How was he telling him all that and managing to look so calm? </p><p>–W-what do you mean? –</p><p>–I’m out of my mind right now, just as you were at the library–</p><p>Armin moaned quietly as Levi touched his lips, his fingers caressing him in a delicate and erotic way. Probably he didn’t even know that his actions were erotic.</p><p>–So you like it when I touch your lips? –</p><p>He sounded genuinely surprised. Armin blushed, turning his face away. His mind was working as if his life depended on that single decision. “You need to forget about Eren”. Could Levi’s touch make him forget? “And I want to learn some things”. If he said yes, he was going to be a thing again, even if Levi told him he was trying to help. Levi would use him just as Eren did. But this time Armin was not a fool in love, this time there were no feelings on the way.</p><p>On the other hand, Armin himself wasn’t an expert about sexual relationships.</p><p>He’d just let Eren do what he wanted to him, and he would reciprocate the best he could. What was he supposed to teach Levi? </p><p>“So you like it when I touch your lips?”</p><p>–Yes, I like it–</p><p>He saw Levi´s face, half hidden by the shadows. The candle was about to consume, how much time had he been there? </p><p>–Why? Is it a kink or something? –</p><p>–I guess it’s because lips are always related to erotic situations–</p><p>–Like kissing–</p><p>–Like kissing–</p><p>Armin repeated, as his throat became dry. Their voices were lower with every word they spoke, and it forced them to get closer and closer in order to hear what the other had to say. </p><p>–I want to try that again–</p><p>—Hmm? –</p><p>–Kissing, I mean–</p><p>“We are going to use each other”. </p><p>Armin did as Levi wanted, erasing the distance between them and going on for a kiss. He could feel Levi’s inexperience all along; how he would sometimes close his mouth when Armin’s tongue slid and licked his lips, insecure about the new sensation. How his hands would tangle in his hair, how he tried to keep up with his rhythm. </p><p>They did it once again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>Levi was a quick learner after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Library anecdotes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Where Armin spent too much time reading, and Levi is just bored as hell.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Levi hoped for things to not became awful between him and the blond.</p><p>Later that night, when Armin left his bedroom, he began to feel kinda dirty. As if he had done something prohibited, something so evil that no one should know. And probably it was true, because the age gap between him and his recruit was enormous in his eyes. How old was Armin? Nineteen? Twenty, maybe? </p><p>—You’re playing stupid shitty games with a person ten years younger, such a fucking depraved—</p><p>He spoke to himself, as a sardonic smile appeared on his face.</p><p>He had just gotten carried away. </p><p>Levi rolled on his bed, uncomfortable. His mind was out of control, it kept repeating all the kisses he shared with Armin, how his hair seemed to glow under the candle’s weak light, how his lips turned redder and redder and how he felt the urge to bite him. To… he needed something he couldn’t even explain, but it was a thing he denied to himself since his teenage years.</p><p>Of course he went through that war called puberty, of course he was a hormonal mess sometimes. He still remembered the only time he tried to alleviate the extreme arousal that came after watching a prostitute touching a stranger in the middle of the street. The scene itself was gross, and he knew that. He didn’t feel attracted neither to the woman nor the man, but couldn’t stop himself from imagining the sensation, and his penis grew bigger inside his pants, to his horror.<br/>
He would let it pass as he was used to, but that time something was off, and once he arrived to his house, he locked himself inside the bathroom and stroked his length with shaky, unsure hands. Liberation came just a few minutes later, taking the form of sticky, silver threads of cum, and he felt disgusted and embarrassed. He got nausea of his own body fluids. </p><p>So he decided that sexual matters just weren’t for him.</p><p>But he had a boner again, after all that years thinking he couldn’t be attracted to anyone. And he didn’t want to touch himself, he couldn’t do it.<br/>
It would bring back the memories of his years living in the underground, watching all kinds of perverted, twisted situations. And of him being unable to do something other than watch, than try and stay as far as possible from almost all the other people. So, what was he thinking when he proposed that dirty, abusive deal to Armin? Of course he wasn’t thinking, that was the thing.</p><p>And Armin? Honestly, he thought the blond would refuse, but he didn’t and Levi knew the reason.</p><p>Armin missed Eren. </p><p>He wanted to stop thinking about him, about Mikasa. And he probably exhausted all his options, it was a desperate move.<br/>
Levi slid his fingers through his hair, exasperated. He was the one to follow orders, to obey and do his work with no flaws. He was the one to kill titans as if they were bugs, he was the one to terrify his cadets with just a single glance. But this topic was burning away his fucking neurons, and his goddamn crotch was starting to actually hurt. </p><p>He closed his eyes, and guided his hand down his abdomen, touching the edge of his pants, unsure. He was sweating, Armin was still dancing inside his brain.<br/>
He had no choice at all, it was going to drag him to hell.</p><p>So his hand, that one missing two fingers, finally made it inside his underwear, caressing his penis with a mixture of guilt and need. At first, he went slowly, testing the waters. Just an ephemeral touch, a gentle caress and his blood started to boil.<br/>
He couldn’t hold himself back anymore, three fingers closed around his length, his mind lost on some blue eyes and flushed cheeks. He didn’t need much stimulation, actually. Just by remembering those soft, wet lips on his was enough to turn him on. Up and down, pre-cum making it easier for his hand to do its job. Up and down, how would it feel if he had the chance to grab Armin by his waist?<br/>
Up and down, would the blond blush if he dared to bite his lower lip, just as he wanted?<br/>
Up and down, Levi started to feel dizzy, his brain spinning and all around him losing shape, as his orgasm took him away.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
Armin felt weird, to say the least.</p><p>Out of all the crazy things he could imagine, kissing captain Levi was the craziest.</p><p>Even killing a titan using a knife seemed more probable, and that was nearly impossible.</p><p>That was the first night in months he didn’t spent thinking about Eren and Mikasa. He couldn’t really tell if he felt attracted to Levi, because he got too immersed in his role as a mere teacher, so he tried his best to show Levi a pleasant way to kiss, and knowing the man’s obsession with cleaning, he tried not to involve too much saliva. </p><p>In the morning, Levi didn’t show up like the day before, and Armin felt grateful. There was just too much to process, and having the main source of his dilemma around was going to make it all harder to figure out. So he skipped breakfast and headed straight to the library. He needed a silent place to think, and maybe look for some interesting book.</p><p>Levi had told him he could grab any book he wanted, and the idea lighted up a small flame inside his chest. It had been months since the last time he enjoyed a good read, mainly because books reminded him of his missing friends in some way. But maybe it was time to start collecting his broken bones, his cracked shell, and find a way to make it all make sense, even with many lost, irreplaceable pieces.</p><p>He was comfortable surrounded by all those old, forgotten volumes; the smell of fragile paper and ancient knowledge dancing in the air, bringing back memories of better times. It was nostalgia what he felt, pure and sweet nostalgia. </p><p>His fingers slid over the cover of a particularly worn book.</p><p>“The age of monsters”.</p><p>It had all types of strange animals, from giant whales to killer felines. It was fascinating for him. </p><p>Hours passed as he read page after page, his body curled up in a corner of the barrack.</p><p>—Did you skipped meals again, Arlet? —</p><p>Armin jumped in his spot, surprised by his captain’s voice that came out of nowhere. He raised his gaze and meet Levi’s, who was leaning against a bookshelf, looking at him with cold eyes. His heart began to race, as the past events piled up inside his brain. How was he supposed to look him in the eye after all they’ve done last night? He was supposed to make up his mind, but ended up learning about tiger’s eating habits. Armin coughed, trying to put words together and formulate a proper response.</p><p>—I just found this book and didn’t realize how many hours I’ve spent here, sir—</p><p>His eyes landed on the pale yellow pages again, unable to hold Levi’s gaze anymore. He always felt so small next to him, ironically, and now it was mixing up with the awkwardness, creating a terrible cocktail.</p><p> —Make sure to grab something once you’re done here—</p><p>Armin nodded, slightly surprised by Levi’s concern. He expected him to leave, but the older one stayed right there, looking at him and saying nothing. It ended up getting on Armin’s nerves.</p><p>—W-were you looking for something, captain? —</p><p>—I was looking for you, as you see—</p><p>He felt his entire face burning, even if that words meant nothing. Levi was always so direct with his words, as if he didn’t know how to tone down his sentences in the slightest. All the opposite of him, whom was always trying to find the best way to tell what he wanted, without making anyone uncomfortable or disappointed.  </p><p>—Do you need me to help with something? —</p><p>He tried again, because Levi didn’t seem to care about his ridiculously flushed self.</p><p>—Not really, I was just bored—</p><p>That didn’t help at all. Armin ran out of words. What should he respond? He stayed still, feeling more and more awkward while Levi just kept observing him.</p><p>—Tell me about that book of yours—</p><p>—Eh? —</p><p>For a second, he thought he heard wrong, but all doubts disappeared as he watched Levi taking a seat behind the only desk in that room. Suddenly all one hundredth and fifty eight pages he had read vanished from his memories. </p><p>—I told you to tell me about what you’ve been reading for like five hours straight—</p><p>—It is some boring stuff, sir. I…—</p><p>He had to make a pause to gather some air, because his lungs seemed to be wasting oxygen.</p><p>—I can tell you about it, I guess. But I’m afraid you’ll find it just… I don’t know, no one besides Eren liked to hear about this, I'm just too plain—</p><p>—You always do that—</p><p>Levi spoke to him with a slightly harsh tone, taking out a napkin and cleaning the dust from the desk.</p><p>—You tend to drag yourself down without even trying. It doesn’t matter if you had the fucking cure to all diseases, you’d still thinking of you as a burden or some shit like that—</p><p>The blond didn’t move an inch, didn’t even dared to breath. It was true, and he couldn’t help it. Since his training days, he was always the weakest, the slowest, the last one. He never lived up to the other soldiers, and when he tried to sacrifice his life for humanity’s sake, he ended up being a monster, a killing machine. Not just that, but he took a place that belonged to Erwin, who was better than him at everything. How was he supposed to feel great? Levi would never understand it, he was a gifted man. Humanity’s strongest, not less than that.</p><p>—With all respect, captain, I’m free to hate myself as much as I want—</p><p>—Because that’s the only way you can cope, Arlet. If you’re not the weakest, poor soldier… if you’re not a victim, then who are you? Tell me, who are you without the labels you’ve put on yourself?—</p><p>Why was Levi being so mean all of sudden? Armin was starting to get anxious. He didn’t want to talk about that, he was not ready to face his insecurities.</p><p>—I don’t know, sir. I don’t know and I don’t want to talk about this with you—</p><p>The raven seemed to notice how uncomfortable Armin was getting, so he stopped. Instead, he examined the blond’s face; he was a little angry, it was written all over him. From the way his knuckles turned pale as he tightened his grab over the book, to the way his breath became heavier. And to Levi’s surprise, he found quite attractive that new side of him. He wanted to push him further, to make him rise that soft voice of his. But of course this was going to stay inside his deep, weird imagination. He was messed up, after all.</p><p>—You’re right, that’s none of my business. Do as you like—</p><p>He saw Armin relax, his blue eyes finally fixing on him. He held his gaze, trying to figure him out. He wanted to kiss that fucking pretty mouth of his. And Armin noticed the fierce glam on those steel eyes.</p><p>—Blue whale is the loudest animal alive—</p><p>He started to speak, trying to cool down the mood.</p><p>—And they make some low-frequency sounds that travel many miles underwater—</p><p>Levi stood up, and made his way to Armin, who put his book aside.</p><p>—Blue whale? How does it sound? —</p><p>—Well, they aren’t actually blue, I guess. Since blue is the rarest color to find in nature. When you see something blue, it is probably just some reflection. You see, water is not blue but it looks as if it was… and I don’t know how they sound, sir. I’ve never heard one—</p><p>The raven arched a brow, seeming genuinely interested. </p><p>—What if you had the chance to hear one? —</p><p>—I hope I’m able one day, that’d be great—</p><p>They stared at each other after that, but this time in a more comfortable silence. </p><p>—When I heard you talking about the ocean, long ago…—</p><p>Levi started to talk.</p><p>—I understood the difference between you and us… me and Erwin, I mean—</p><p>Armin watched him look away, his eyes lost on something through the window, beyond his sight.</p><p>—You dreamt about watching some giant lake, and we were just trying to survive as long as we could—</p><p>He noticed the vulnerability in Levi’s voice, those words meant so much more than they appeared. Levi was revealing something that nearly broke Armin’s heart. He never stopped and think about his superiors; to them -the younger ones-, they were just authority figures, just strong people who fought and killed titans. He never even imagined how they felt, if they had aspirations, if they were in as much pain as them. Levi seemed to had spaced out, lost in some memories Armin had no access to. At some point, he had taken a seat beside him, his arms and legs touching each other’s. From that distance, Armin could see all of Levi’s scars; the old ones, and the most recent ones that were crossing his face, tracing the choices he had made all along. He was really handsome, actually. The blond was just realizing why many recruits had a crush on him. </p><p>When Levi turned his face to him, Armin couldn’t look away. He was bewitched. The captain’s hand crawled up Armin’s leg, and he left a sigh escape his mouth. He wanted Levi to kiss him, to show him what he learnt from last time. </p><p>And Levi didn’t make him wait too long.</p><p>His lips met Armin’s, and it was so different from before. This time Levi took control over him.</p><p>His fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. Armin’s eyes widened as Levi’s tongue made his way inside his mouth, and his free hand started to trace a slow, sensual route from his leg to his hipbone, going up to his waist and then drawing circles with his thumb. </p><p>Armin had to close his eyes, it was starting to get hot, oh so hot. Levi trapped his lower lip between his teeth, biting just enough to send him a pleasant pain.<br/>
Armin adjusted fast, his tongue joining Levi’s as some obscene noises filled the silence of the library.</p><p>When their lungs couldn’t handle no more, they forced themselves away, but Levi didn’t go of Armin’s waist. He was holding him with some possessive behavior, and that made the blond think of some brown haired mess who used to called him his whenever they were alone, even when he had prohibited himself to remember him. This was Levi, just captain Levi. </p><p>—What do you do when kissing is no longer enough? —</p><p>Levi asked hoarsely, caressing Armin’s neck. He was fascinated by the blond’s reactions to his touch. He wanted more of it.</p><p>—Y-you… I guess you start to touch and… captain don’t make me say this, it’s embarrassing—</p><p>The raven started to kiss his jawline, going down his neck, pleased with the clean smell that Armin gave off. He didn't know if that would please the blond, but all his doubts disappeared as he heard a quiet, soft moan.</p><p>—If you can’t say it, then show me—</p><p>—I-I… sir, please, I... —</p><p>Armin couldn’t think straight anymore, as he felt his pants suddenly too tight. His arousal being more than evident at that point.</p><p>—You probably… you, sir…—</p><p>—Levi! Where the fuck are you?! —</p><p>Hange’s voice broke down the spell.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hands like grenades</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Touching another person can be dangerous, to say the less.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, let me apologize for this chapter. Sorry if I make you feel frustrated, haha. I promise it will eventually make sense.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Levi heard Hange Zoë’s voice, something inside his brain clicked, and he realized what he was doing. His eyes fixed on Armin; the boy looked… weird to say the less. </p><p>Weird and somehow appealing. And he could have just stayed there, trying to figure out the situation, but he was sure Hange would find them at any moment, so he stood up and gave Armin a look, asking him to stay silent while he went to meet the crazy scientist. Levi’s face felt hot, he didn’t want to think too much about it, but probably his cheeks were blushing and, how was he explaining the reason to Hange? </p><p>–I can tell you are here, shortie, just come here already–</p><p>–Call me that again and I’m kicking those shitty glasses off your face–</p><p>Levi rushed and faced her, trying to look as casual as ever. But instantly he noticed that smirk on Hange’s face, and he cursed the gods above for giving such intelligence to a crazy ass person like her. Of course Hange would notice just how messy his looks were, because that was totally uncommon of him, and he realized he have forgotten to even fix his clothes. Despite the awkwardness, he was not saying a goddamn thing to her.</p><p>–Why are you looking like you just watched some pornographic magazine? –</p><p>She approached, adjusting her glasses and letting that smirk grow into a whole smile, and Levi felt the urge to punch her right in the face. </p><p>–Cut that off, Hange. I’m not on the mood–</p><p>–Levi, you haven’t been on the mood a single time since I know you. Do I care? No, not even a little bit, so tell me… what were you doing here? –</p><p>Levi didn’t know how to dismiss her, and the idea of her walking further in and finding Armin in such state horrified him. He wouldn’t be able to explain, for fuck’s sake explaining the situation actually would make everything worse. </p><p>–I was just cleaning this place, it was fucking dirty and that got on my nerves–</p><p>He knew she didn’t buy that, of course she didn’t, but the growing tension on his shoulders relaxed as he watched her turned and head towards the door. Even Hange knew when to stop asking. </p><p>–Well, I need to discuss something with you. They are planning on cutting our funding again, as if we didn’t save their ugly asses just months ago–</p><p>Hange told him, and her face suddenly darkened. That was a problem they’ve been fighting since the end of war. Survey Corps were destined to fight titans and bring hope to humanity, but their role needed to change, because now there were no titans left. But some new order started to settle down; Paradis was on the hands of Military Police and the few Yeagerists that still remained were causing many fights and disturbs inside the city. Now everyone had their own opinion about the corps: those who believed they were heroes and deserved to be treated the best, and those who believed they were a waste of money at that point. And it’s not like they were there just laying down and enjoying life, no. They were doing some fucking heavy work outside the city, fixing the land and helping the military every time a new warfare started. So why the fuck were the shitty politicians cutting their funding again? </p><p>The raven sighed, as he understood why was Hange in such a hurry to find him.</p><p> –I told you I was not taking place in that fucking field again, I’m a soldier not a politician–</p><p>She smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. Hange looked really tired.</p><p>–I’m not much a politician myself, you know? I used to be something of a scientist before. I just want to go back, Levi. I don’t enjoy this either, so stop arguing and follow me. We both know you’re helping me figure things out–</p><p>Levi hated to admit it, but he was always going to help her. No matter how many times they called the other by names, or how many times he told her to fuck off, she was a friend of his and they got each other’s back. So he just clicked his tongue and followed her, wondering what would Armin think about what Hange told him.<br/>
The blond listened carefully to her words. He wasn’t aware of the problems they were facing, and how could he? If he had spent most of his days crying his heart out and begging his friends to come back.  He thought that he was the one who was suffering the most, but of course that was just a selfish idea of his. He watched Hange’s features, how she somehow became decades older in less than half a year, how she wasn’t that loud scientist who got amazed by the weirdest things anymore. And for the first time in years, a little flame ignited inside his brain. His mind started to work like a powerful engine in his attempt to find a way to solve the just discovered situation. </p><p>He thought he had no value after war, but he was alive and many people wasn’t. His lungs kept breathing while Erwin’s weren’t. His eyes still open while Marco’s had closed years ago. So what if he could do this one thing at least? What if he could help the people who had helped him many times before? He needed to find Jean.<br/>
He was sure they both can come with a great idea, and probably talk with their superiors once they were ready. Jean was actually very smart, and war had just sharpened his talent. </p><p>So he waited patiently until Hange and Levi were out of his sight, and crawled out of his hiding spot. He instinctively fixed his hair, knowing how much of a mess he was after that unexpected make out session with Levi. He was still embarrassed and his legs shaken a little as he made his way out of the barrack, trying to put aside all those unnecessary thoughts. He could think about that later.</p><p>Armin didn’t know how to approach Jean anymore. They hadn’t talked in a while, and probably Jean was mad at him for ignoring him every time he tried to talk to him, to help him. But what else could he do? The government was trying to dissolve Survey Corps, to reduce to nothing every single thing they accomplished, every sacrifice they did for humanity’s sake, for the fucking noblesse’s ass sake. Armin wasn’t even thinking about him, but about every soldier who couldn’t sleep, who couldn’t eat, who couldn’t live a normal life because they had given up everything for the rest. And that made him want to throw up. </p><p>His hands were shaking when he reached Jean’s quarters. </p><p>He stood in front of his door for a long time, trying to find the courage to knock.</p><p>He could hear other voices coming from inside the room, and it didn’t take him too much to recognize them as Sasha and Connie; they were always together, no matter what, and that made Armin’s heart wrench, because he used to have that himself. He used to have someone to rely on. </p><p>Armin left out a sigh, and finally forced himself to knock on that terrifying door. His heartbeat started to become erratic, his blood pressure probably rising. Why was he so afraid of talking to them? They used to be his friends! But now he was scared of them. Of seeing just how much they loved each other.<br/>
He was about to run away.</p><p>But the door opened before he could even take a step back, and Jean seemed as if he saw a ghost. </p><p>–Armin? –</p><p>The blond tried to smile, but ended up putting on a weird face. Jean slid his fingers through his hair in disbelief. </p><p>–Hello, Jean. Hum… I know this is really unexpected and I apologize if I interrupt you guys, but…–</p><p>He had to stop and gather some oxygen, because he always spoke really fast when he was nervous.</p><p>–But I just heard something from Hange and captain Levi, and I think is really serious and maybe you could help me to figure out something so we can help the Survey Corps–</p><p>He closed his eyes once he finally finished talking, almost expecting Jean to close the door right on his nose and go back to laugh with his dearest friends. But Jean just placed a hand on his shoulder and replied in a whisper.</p><p>–Give me a second, see you at the stable–</p><p>With that, he went back to Sasha and Connie, giving Armin a reassuring look. </p><p>Armin almost cried while walking towards the stable, because Jean’s hand on his shoulder felt too familiar, and he was realizing just how much he missed everyone. How much he wanted to get back to them but didn’t know how. At first he needed to be alone, but as days passed he started to become more and more self-conscious, until he reached a point where he was not able to talk to anyone. Because he was so afraid of them asking about Eren and Mikasa, or feeling sorry for him because they betrayed him. In the end, it was as if he had locked himself inside a cage and lost the key; nobody would hear him scream and he would eventually die alone. </p><p>But he didn’t want to die alone. Realization hit him like cold water, he didn’t want to be alone anymore. While waiting for Jean, his mind went to Levi, and how they kissed at the library. Probably the captain wasn’t aware of how attractive he was, even with all those scars crossing his entire body. But Armin knew he was messing up, because with every touch his mind went back to a pair of green eyes, a color so beautiful he was sure just existed in Eren’s sight, and even with that, he liked the desire burning behind Levi’s eyes. He liked to be wanted, and he even liked that Levi didn’t have experiences before him. It was strange, but actually predictable. </p><p>–I’m here–</p><p>Jean’s voice brought him back to present, and Armin skipped a beat. </p><p>–Thank you for… well, for not ignoring me I guess–</p><p>Jean leaned against a wooden fence, and fixed his sight on Armin. </p><p>–Why would I do that? –</p><p>–I don’t know, I thought you were mad at me–</p><p>Armin felt stupid under Jean’s gaze, as he saw his confused look.</p><p>–We are all waiting for you to come back, Armin. We just didn’t know how to approach to you anymore, so we thought giving you some space was the right thing to do–</p><p>The blond’s eyes widened, and he failed to hide his amazement. Armin simply couldn’t believe they actually cared about him, he was so sure everyone had just forgotten about him. He spent too much time convincing himself he wasn’t worth at all, that hearing Jean saying those words seemed like another nightmare. Was he asleep? </p><p>–I don’t know, man. I’m sorry if we did wrong, I’m sorry that we couldn’t do something for you, we are all kinda broken, you know? But I was planning on force you to hang with us if captain Levi hadn’t done it first–</p><p>Armin gasped hearing Levi’s name. </p><p>–I’m sorry too, actually. I just… I just need some time to get over… well, to get over all that has happened, I guess–</p><p>Jean nodded, and didn’t ask no more. The blond felt grateful about that. He still needed time for sure, but hearing Jean’s words and thinking about how Levi offered to help him made him realize he was not alone after all, and maybe he could live up to that. Maybe he could eventually move on. A tiny spark shined on his eyes. </p><p>–Jean, I was… reading at the library, and accidentally heard Hange and captain Levi talking about the noblesse cutting our funding again. They think government will dissolve the Corps even if we were the ones to fight at war. Giving us less every time is just their way to warn us, to let us know they don’t need us anymore–</p><p>Jeans face turned into an angry mess with every word Armin spoke, his hands clenched into fists. </p><p>–Even if they are fucking alive because of us?! You gotta be kidding me, man–</p><p>–I promise you it’s true, but maybe we can come up with something useful–</p><p>Armin’s mind was a storm of vague ideas, but if he had enough time, maybe…</p><p>–We are the ones who keep peace at the city, Jean. We all know that, the Military is just too weak to keep the rebels quiet. Without us everything will fall down eventually. So what if…–</p><p>–What if we are able to prove that? Is that what you’re gonna say? –</p><p>Armin nodded, and he noticed Jean’s expression. He was getting the point.</p><p>–Listen, they probably will stop giving us remuneration. And we probably will face harder times, but what if we… what if we go on strike? –</p><p>Jean seemed horrified by the blond’s idea.</p><p>–What if they don’t give a shit? What if they just force us to work? Armin, I… I trust you, you’re way smarter than me after all, but… there’s too much on the line. Do you know that? We need to convince everyone, and then what? Chaos will rule the city, Yeagerist faction will take the opportunity and… oh, you got a point–</p><p>Armin was aware of how much they can lose if things didn’t work the way he expected, but was acting on a hunch. </p><p>–Just a month or so, Jean. We have to resist just a month, maybe less, and people will come to us. If not the Noblesse, then citizens. When that happens, we will put out conditions–</p><p>–Damn, sometimes I forget how terrifying you are at strategizing… count on me, Armin. And count on Sasha and Connie too–<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
They’ve spent the whole evening trying to have a decent dialogue with all those pretentious politicians, but ended up in disagree anyways. And the raven was tired and most all, he was angry. Restraining himself form punching those fucking old men was the hardest task he had ever done, and if it wasn’t for Hange he would probably have done it.</p><p>–Levi, you think I like them? I just have some fuckin common sense, and I hope you never be that disrespectful again or they will cut us off with no hesitation. If it were just us, maybe I’d let you kick their asses. But we have many lives behind us, we have to seek the better for them–</p><p>He just gave her a look, and remained silent. She was right, as usual, but that didn’t help at all, he still wanted to murder them. Why was he even trying to talk to those dumbasses? It was a lost cause and they both knew it, but of course, they had to try. Not for them but for their soldiers. Levi needed to let it all out in his own way. He needed to punch something. To rage at something. </p><p>It was getting on his nerves.</p><p>–I need to go, shitty glasses–</p><p>–Levi… why can’t you just stay with me for a while? –</p><p>The raven realized the sadness in Hange’s eyes, how tired she was. He knew Hange had weird feelings towards him. He noticed it when his life was on the line, when Hange took care of him and told him she wanted to run away with him and live together at peace.</p><p>It was something he never expected her to say, and ever since then, he started to be aware of her eyes. Of the sad looks she gave him, how bad she wanted him to stay longer every time.</p><p>But he couldn’t reciprocate, and he wasn’t going to pretend something just to avoid hurting her feelings. Hange was a smartass after all, she knew he didn’t like her back, not in that way.</p><p>But that didn’t prevent him of feeling guilty, somehow. </p><p>–I can’t do that; I need to be alone–</p><p>Was all he said before leaving Hange’s office. </p><p>Levi headed straight to the forest, carrying his 3DMG with him. He really needed to work himself to exhaustion, otherwise he was going to end up beating someone.<br/>
Flying in the air and swinging his blades was his only way to space out. Levi could disconnect his mind from his body, and drown himself into numb. </p><p>The moment he finished slicing tree branches and punching every single thing that dared to cross his way, his entire body ached and begged for some rest. His knuckles were bleeding and his blades had become useless. </p><p>–Fuck this, why do I even bother…–</p><p>–Are you done with your training, sir? –</p><p>Levi heard that quiet voice, and for a moment he thought he was hallucinating. Then, his gaze met Armin’s. He frowned. How did the blond find him?</p><p>–What are you doing here, Arlet? –</p><p>–I have something to tell you, captain. It’s important–</p><p>Armin looked different. He looked more alive, his blue eyes had something burning behind. Levi then realized it.</p><p>He liked the goddamn kid.</p><p>He actually felt attracted to him.</p><p>Not in that twisted, sick way he felt attracted to Erwin, this was not Ackerman’s curse.</p><p>And that turned on many alarms inside his brain. </p><p>–I don’t feel like thinking right now. Tell me about it later–</p><p>–It’s something really important, sir–</p><p>–And I told you I ain’t taking no more shit today–</p><p>He sounded way harsher than he pretended, Armin seemed intimidated, but it was what it was. He spent the whole fucking day hearing shit and he was sure Armin wanted to talk about the same fucking topic. </p><p>–Sorry, probably you got it hard with those men. I can tell you about it later, sir–</p><p>Levi expected him to leave after that, but the blond stayed. </p><p>He couldn’t help but think about his eye color. Something that Armin told him hours ago came to his mind.</p><p>–So, if blue is the rarest color to find in nature, are your eyes something like a miracle? –</p><p>He was asking in the most honest way, but that sounded ridiculous. Armin looked at him with a face that said “are you flirting with me?” and for God’s sake, he wasn’t. </p><p>–Don’t blush like that, brat. I didn’t ask that in the way you’re thinking–</p><p>He focused on some tree trunk instead, trying to ignore the urge to kiss Armin. It was weird.<br/>
He never wanted to kiss someone before, but this blond came and kissed him once, and now he was longing to kiss him every single time.  Not just that, but he wanted to… touch him. </p><p>All his soldiers were nothing special to Levi, at least not physically. Just people. </p><p>But Armin was turning into a strange creature in his eyes. Not a soldier but a different human being. Who would’ve thought he had a thing for blue eyes, blond hair and smooth talk?</p><p>–Well, answering to your question, sir, I think my eyes are just as common as every other eye color. I think both my parent had light eye color, so chances of me having it were above ninety-nine percent–</p><p>He heard the blond speaking with interest. It was really amazing how Armin always had something new to say, how much knowledge resided in that mind of his. </p><p>–So if both parents are dickheads is there a ninety-nine percent chance of their son being a dickhead too? –</p><p>Levi thought about those bald, disgusting men he met before. He looked at Armin sideways, and caught a little, almost imperceptible smile on his face. It was getting dark, the wind blew through the treetops, and stirred Armin’s golden hair. </p><p>–Most likely, sir–</p><p>Levi´s throat went dry as he fixed is sight on him. Armin was fucking pretty, how he didn’t realize that before? </p><p>–I’m going to kiss you–</p><p>Were his words, and then he waited for the blond’s response.<br/>
Armin opened his mouth, ready to say something, but no sound came out. Instead, he walked towards a tree, and leaned against its trunk.</p><p>–I’m just looking for some support in case my legs dare to give up–</p><p>It was all Levi needed. He ended the distance between them and kissed Armin.<br/>
What had the young Armin done to him?<br/>
He wondered, as his tongue made his way inside the blond’s mouth. He now was sure he liked kissing… kissing Armin, at least.<br/>
His hands felt empty, needy, so he surrendered his impulses and touched him.</p><p>He touched him and it felt so fucking right.</p><p>Grabbing him by his slim waist, biting him… the idea crossed his mind out of nowhere. He wanted more.<br/>
He heard Armin moan as his hand found its way under his white shirt, finally sensing that pale, soft skin. That sound was really appealing to Levi, he needed to hear it again.<br/>
Armin tried to get even closer, impossibly closer, sticking their bodies together as his fingers caressed his neck. Levi was losing himself to that boy. He was getting hard.<br/>
They were alone in the woods, no one would hear Armin’s pleas, how the blond asked him for something… for more.</p><p>His lips abandoned Armin’s mouth, starting to kiss and lick his neck, and receiving more of those sweet cries of pleasure. He wanted to see what his hands were feeling.</p><p>–Are you okay with me undoing your buttons? –</p><p>Armin blushed intensely, that crimson color spreading to his ears, neck... how much of his skin was red now?</p><p>He just nodded, unable to speak anymore. As he predicted, his legs were shaking, and he would’ve fallen down if it wasn’t for that tree. </p><p>And Levi started to undo his shirt buttons, one by one. Slowly, torturing the flustered blond. Revealing that pale, inviting skin inch by inch. He licked his own lips, as he hands hurried and touched him, caressing every single part of his body, exposed just for him. He wanted to go further. </p><p>But then something went off. He was transported to a completely different place, to a completely different time. This was not Armin anymore, this was a blond prostitute in the underground; and he was not Levi anymore, he was a disgusting, ugly old man who was being touched in the middle of the street. He spaced out, didn’t even realized his nails digging into Armin’s skin.</p><p>–No, please… Eren–</p><p>Armin realized it too late. </p><p>They both stared at each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Unexpected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armin and Levi need to figure things out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>–We are quite the duo, aren’t we? –</p><p>Said Levi, pulling away from the blond. Both of them felt dizzy, but something was off. They knew that it was over at least for that night. </p><p>–I’m really sorry, sir. I…–</p><p>Words escaped Armin’s mind while he fixed his shirt with trembling fingers, feeling somehow humiliated; not by Levi but by himself. He was fearing what Levi might think, might say, given the situation. He called him by Eren’s name, for God’s sake. And it was not that he imagined Eren was the one touching him, not at first, but as Levi spaced out and started to dig his nails into his skin, Armin remembered certain times when the brown haired teen went a little too far. Enough to scare him, to make him feel weak and tell him to stop. Sometimes Eren realized he was hurting Armin beyond eroticism, he then would apologize and hold him close, reassuring him. But sometimes he wouldn’t listen to his cries, to his voice telling him it was enough, and would go all the way with empty eyes and a face so expressionless Armin thought he was no longer alive. </p><p>And to his extremely bad fortune, his mind decided to go back to those harsh, hurting times while his captain made his skin ache. He was no longer seeing Levi, instead there was Eren tearing him apart in every way possible. So he couldn’t stop himself from calling him, from trying to tell him it was enough, from trying to understand his actions. </p><p>And now there was poor, little Armin, waiting for Levi to say something. Whatever. He just couldn’t stand the silence anymore.</p><p>–You seem like a scared child. What is it? –</p><p>Levi sat on a huge rock that was near him, and fixed his eyes on the blond. He looked so… calm. As if the fact that he mistook him for Eren once again didn’t bother him, and Armin felt something pulling inside him. That expression of Levi… it made him feel safe, somehow. Armin thought for a second that he could tell him whatever he wanted and the older one would never judge him. </p><p>Even with that, he couldn’t talk about it. About the fact that he did let Eren hurt him, do some messed up things to him. How was he supposed to explain that? Tell him “Oh, sorry. Eren used to scratch my skin and sometimes make me bleed, but I love him so much that even if he wanted to rip all my skin from off my bones, I’d let him”. He knew just how bad that was, how sick they were.</p><p>So he just stared at Levi, wondering why he lost control in the first place. Armin knew it was both of them who ruined the mood. </p><p>–Why did you scratch my skin? –</p><p>Armin questioned with no hesitation, curiosity being stronger than his respect for Levi’s privacy. </p><p>The raven seemed uncomfortable for a moment, just a second, but recomposed himself just as fast. He sighed, his dark grey eyes looking upward, trying to find some answer among the stars.</p><p>–Let’s do this. If I tell you about me, then you’ll have to tell me about you. Deal? –</p><p>Was Levi actually offering a deal? Was he willing to tell him about something so intimate? And finally, was Armin ready to talk about all he lived with his best friend?<br/>
He looked at the sky mimicking Levi’s actions, sensing something really heavy inside his chest. An overwhelming feeling took over him. Yes, he wanted to talk about it. He needed to do it or it was going to eat him alive.</p><p>–Deal–</p><p>The soft night breeze felt really nice on his skin. </p><p>–You go first–</p><p>Said Levi, and Armin chuckled. Of course someone had to start. The doubt in his mind lasted just a moment, as he made up his mind. It didn’t matter who would be the one to start. So he nodded, the stars glowing in his eyes as he gathered enough courage to do what he wanted. To open up.</p><p>Air escaped Levi’s lungs as he saw moonlight illuminating Armin. </p><p>–When you started digging your nails into my skin… you brought back some memories of the times me and… me and Eren shared a bed–</p><p>His voice became unsteady, his mind spinning around while those memories came back to him. It wasn’t as if he didn’t enjoy the most of what they lived together. He enjoyed it so much that he fell in love with Eren. His very first mistake.</p><p>–At this point you already know you’re not the first one I touch nor the first one I kiss. You know that place belongs to Eren. Actually, we both learnt together, we started all out of curiosity but… sometimes you can’t just have control over the things you feel, over the things you want. It’s human nature, I guess–</p><p>–So you ended up having more complex feelings towards Eren–</p><p>Armin nodded, putting on a smile so sad it made Levis insides shiver. He could perceive Armin’s grief through his words.</p><p>–Yes, that’s exactly what happened to me. I became so obsessed over Eren I ended up falling into a vicious circle. We’d keep it all as a secret, no one should find out what we were doing and it started to feel like a curse. As if we were committing such a horrible crime, that if someone ever found out we would be kicked out of earth forever–</p><p>Armin was horrified by his own words, understanding for the first time how much he got hurt by the whole situation. Finally facing what Eren did to him, what they both did to each other.</p><p>–And things started to get out of hand really soon. You know Eren, he’s really messed up and I don’t blame him. Of course I don’t. He’s gone through a lot since he was just a child. So I was just a thing he used to find comfort, to feel human. And I was aware of that, I’m not trying to portrait myself as the victim here. But… yeah. He got violent sometimes, mostly when we were going through especially rough times. So he caused actual wounds while having… while having sex–</p><p>Levi felt disgusted hearing Armin speak. With every word he spoke, the raven became more and more uncomfortable. He knew this was probably not that weird. He saw violence in all its forms at the underground city, but to think that those kinds of things could happen among his soldiers, right in front of him…</p><p>Why did no one notice what was happening between the blond and Eren?</p><p>–I guess it caused a greater impact on me than I thought. I saw you turning into Eren as soon as my skin began to ache. And… you don’t have to say something to reassure me, sir. I’m quite smart and I understand that what happened shouldn’t have happened in the first place. If you ever fall in love, someday… well, maybe you would understand why I was unable to say no to him–</p><p>The raven found himself out of words. And it was a relief that Armin stated he didn’t need comfort, because he would be useless to him. This was a topic that escaped his understanding. Judging by the blond’s words, he didn’t want to fall in love. Never. Armin looked at him with such a hurting smile, such blue eyes, that his heart squeezed deep inside his body. He couldn’t stop staring, just amused by the blond’s pretty face. He liked him, he liked him, he liked him. </p><p>He liked him in a way so different, so strange to him. He didn’t know what to do with those weird sensations. It was all so out of his comfort zone.</p><p>–Captain? –</p><p>Armin called out his name, and Levi realized he was still staring at him with no shame. Armin looked slightly embarrassed. </p><p>–Arlert–</p><p>He said, honestly clueless. He didn’t listen to what Armin had said before that “captain”. </p><p>–It’s your turn, we got a deal–</p><p>Oh, that. He was forced to talk about his past and about his trauma. Just one person knew about him, about his roots and about how bad life had treated him, and that was Erwin. No one else, not even Hange. He was really reserved about his private life, but he fulfilled what he promised too. For a moment, he considered making up some fake story just to get out of the situation, but that would be unfair. He was sure Armin told him the truth. He had to pay him the same.</p><p>His hands took the little knife he kept in his pocket, just to have something to focus instead of those ocean eyes that kept making him feel unsettled.  </p><p>–I used to live underground. I earned my spot here thanks to Erwin. I’m not digging too much into that, just know that life down there is rough. Not rough like fighting titans. It is something different, some other type of hell, I guess. People being sold and raped all the time, families starving, children offering to suck you up if you give them some food… yeah, it is fucked up–</p><p>Armin closed his eyes, his mind putting all the pieces together. As Levi spoke, many of his weird attitudes started to make sense. He got nausea just by the image of what people were suffering and how no one at the surface seemed to care. </p><p>–So there was I at the age of fourteen, with an empty stomach and many fucking debts I had to pay. Walking around just to avoid thinking of how hungry I was. People used to find edible things among the trash but like hell I was getting that low. I was ready to die if that meant keeping my pride–</p><p>Armin saw a glimpse of sadness in those usually cold eyes. Levi was just playing with the knife between his fingers.</p><p>–Well, that said day I came across to a blond prostitute who was making out with an old man. Right there, on the street. As if they were at some cheap motel. And for some reason that kinda turned me on, or that’s what I think. I felt disgusted but kept watching them for a while, the noises they made… for fuck’s sake it was gross. Later that day I had my very first and only orgasm, and then I threw up. I hated myself for feeling that way, I actually punished myself because I was just as gross as them. Even more–</p><p>–You were a kid, you didn’t know better, captain–</p><p>Armin finally understood the reason behind Levi spacing out earlier. It was pure bad luck that he and that said prostitute had the same hair color. It fueled Levi’s trauma. But he also wanted to help him, because feeling uncomfortable in his own skin just because his body had a perfectly normal reaction back then was just something he couldn’t stand. He approached Levi cautiously, sitting next to him. </p><p>–A kid, of course. A kid with a sick twisted mind–</p><p>–No, sir. You didn’t  like what you saw. Sometimes we cannot control ourselves, most of the time actually. Why do you think my body kept reacting even if Eren hurt me? Even if I wanted him to be more gentle? We don’t have the power to be in control all the time, and that’s just normal. You were just a kid who didn’t know better and I assure you you didn’t like that; you didn’t want to be in their place nor be in their situation. Listen, sexuality is such a complex topic–</p><p>Armin stopped him from playing with that goddamn knife, feeling like Levi wasn’t listening to him. He grabbed both his hands and looked at him right in the eye, determinate.</p><p>–Such a complex topic yet so fascinating. You should know that what happened back then was not your fault, and that you can get over it if you want to–</p><p>Levi didn’t seem to mind his speech, but Armin wanted to try. Maybe he was going a little too far getting his nose into Levi’s business, maybe he was being disrespectful and maybe Levi was going to punish him for that. He made up many different scenarios in his mind, and every one of them ended up with him being beaten and severely injured by Levi. </p><p>He was not expecting that warm embrace, of course. He was not expecting Levi’s chin resting on his shoulder either. And of course he was not expecting that voice that came out in a whisper.</p><p>–Is it really fascinating as you say, Armin? –</p><p>A shiver went down his spine when he felt the raven’s breath on his neck.</p><p>–Y-yes, captain. It is–</p><p>He wanted to make him feel comfortable in his skin, to experience what pleasure was about. The idea settled down in his brain. He liked Levi. He really liked him.</p><p>–Let me show you–</p><p>Levi ran his fingers through the blond strands, placing some behind Armin’s ear. His chin still resting on his shoulder. Armin wondered what kind of expression was on Levi’s face. The moment was so fragile yet so intimate. He feared the bubble would break if he dared to blink. </p><p>–That sounds good, Armin. Show me what it should feel like–</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is just a comforting chapter since I've been pretty emotional later. Also I wanted to thank you all for keep commenting and leaving kudos. It really puts a smile in my face.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Nocturnal behaviour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Who invented the blowjob? and other anecdotes at the forest.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I'm not too familiarized with writing smut in english, since it involves a lot of anatomy and advanced grammar hahaha But I tried my best ~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>–That sounds good, Armin. Show me what it should feel like–</p><p>And the blond felt like he was about to drown.</p><p>The urge in Levi’s voice, the intimacy, the way his heart was pounding and trying to escape his chest. It was all too much to handle, yet he wanted to show him. To please him in a way nobody had done before. So he searched his mind, trying to find something he could do without going too far. How deep was Levi’s trauma? Armin wasn’t sure what to do, but maybe Levi could guide him.</p><p>–Do you really want me to try, captain?–</p><p>Levi let go of him after several minutes, looking him right in the eye. His breath was a lot heavier than before, Armin found out he was actually shaking a bit. But he also looked curious, expecting something.</p><p>–I’m not sure, Arlert. Maybe you can… well, do whatever you want, and I’ll decide whether it pleases me or it makes me uncomfortable–</p><p>The blond nodded, catching some doubt in the steely eyes. </p><p>–If I do something you are not sure about, just tell me to stop–</p><p>–Of course I will tell you to stop–</p><p>Levi stated, like it was so obvious. He stayed still, waiting for Armin’s reaction. What was about to happen between the two of them? Were they actually going to do some inappropriate things… out there? It wasn’t exactly Levi’s taste, but probably it was for the best. His room wasn’t the right choice either, probably there was no right choice in these cases. His brain started to rush into messy, mindless thoughts, as he felt something similar to nervousness burning his bloodstream. No, it wasn’t nervousness. It was adrenaline.</p><p>Suddenly an unexpected, unsure caress brought him back to reality, realizing that Armin was no longer sitting next to him. Instead, he was kneeling in front of him… and for God’s sake, he looked great. He liked the way Armin looked submitting to him. And that made him feel like a stranger in his own skin. Armin placed both hands on his thighs, and locked his eyes on him, asking for his permission to start. </p><p>–Sir, I don’t know how far you’d let me go, but I know this feels great and I want to try it on you–</p><p>The raven gulped, unsure about Armin’s intentions. What was exactly “this”? And why had he the feeling that it was going to be something hard to agree with?</p><p>–What are you going to do to me?–</p><p>He cocked his head, trying to decipher what was hiding behind those blue, dreamy eyes. The whole situation got him fighting against impulses he didn’t know he had, like grabbing Armin by the back of his neck and kissing him recklessly; like pinning him down and biting his soft skin until he could see it turning red.</p><p>–I’m gonna suck you up, sir–</p><p>And he should have felt disgusted, offended; he should have told him that he was a disrespectful brat and made him clean the dirty restrooms for a whole month, even a whole year. He should have prohibited him from saying those things out loud ever again. </p><p>Instead, he gasped and his cock hardened. </p><p>He got turned on just by Armin’s words.</p><p>And he felt ashamed of his reaction, because who the fuck got that hard just by a fucking slutty sentence? But Armin didn’t seem to mind it.<br/>
Probably that was the reaction he was expecting from him, right? Levi frowned, the doubt dancing all over his face. He wasn’t sure about Armin’s saliva on his dick, even thinking about someone taking a cock in his mouth gave him nausea. </p><p>–I promise you it really feels good. Also you can always tell me to stop if it doesn’t pleasure you or it makes you uncomfortable–</p><p>The slim, long fingers pressed softly against his thighs in a reassuring gesture, and it both relaxed him and made him even dizzier.</p><p>He wanted this from the start, didn’t he? And that’s what his body was longing, begging for. To find relief in Armin. To relieve Armin. </p><p>–Do me as you please–</p><p>He didn’t expect his words to have such an effect on the small, young blond. But flushed cheeks and surprised eyes let him know it had touched some of Armin’s sensitive spots, and Levi would be lying if he told it didn’t make him feel kind of proud of himself. He realized how much he liked to be the one who caused Armin’s blush.</p><p>The younger one cleared his throat, and shaky hands made their way up his thighs, going dangerously close to his crotch. He still got time to stop it, to put an end to that ridiculous situation he had gotten himself in. But instead, he closed his eyes and let it happen. Let it bury him.</p><p>Armin slid down his pants zipper, and the fresh air made him realize his underwear was wet. </p><p>Slow, delicate fingers touched him with no rush. Trying to discover if he was ready for that. And he was, oh God, he was. Some weird groan escaped his lips as Armin started to speed up his hand work, stimulating him and making his mind travel miles away. He didn’t want to open his eyes, maybe if he dared to see Armin the bubble would break, and he was feeling just too good. </p><p> –Sir… Levi–</p><p>Oh, the sweet voice calling his name. Levi was aware of how many limits he was letting Armin cross, but if that stayed just between them, if the blond just called him by his name when they were alone like this, he would let him. Because the way it sounded was pleasant. </p><p>Armin's hand stroke his cock just a little, just enough to made him curse and thrust against him, desperate for more contact. </p><p> –Keep going, I’m fine –</p><p>He knew Armin was about to ask him if he should continue, and he didn't want him to stop. Not now that the world was spinning around.</p><p>His eyes snapped open when he felt his underwear being slid down, skin exposed and no barrier left between them. Armin was still looking at him with an expression so intense it made Levi shiver. He saw the calm of the ocean turning into a dark, blue hurricane. And he loved it.</p><p> –Just keep going, Armin –</p><p>Levi repeated like a prayer, almost begging him to continue. Armin nodded, and Levi saw the whole scene in slow motion: the blond licking his lips before getting closer and closer to his cock. That soft, wet tongue peeking between that pair of pink, goddamn lips and sliding over the tip. </p><p>It was just too much. He could no longer restrain himself from letting more of that beastly sounds emerging from his throat. He was giving up to Armin.</p><p>The boy’s tongue swirled around his length, causing him to gasp. </p><p>And even if he felt like he was at his peak, nothing could have prepared him for what Armin did next.</p><p>His lips parted, leaving wet kisses before taking his whole cock inside his mouth. And the sensation was nothing like he remembered. This was not his rough, shaky hand stroking him violently.</p><p>This was Armin’s hot, soft mouth taking him entirely. Levi forgot about everything as some new level of pleasure took over him, sending his mind further away.</p><p>The blond had him hanging by a thread. </p><p>The soft caresses started to feel insufficient after a few minutes, and Levi couldn’t help himself from thrusting his hips against Armin’s mouth. He was moving almost unconsciously, too blinded by his own arousal to stop to think about any other thing. </p><p>And Armin didn’t stop him. He just cupped his cheeks and took him the best he could. Tears forming at the corners of his eyes, but his face all red and pretty. It was an extremely sinful view, but Levi was ready to go to hell.</p><p>His breath became erratic as some hot, overwhelming sensation formed in his lower belly, announcing the oh so expected orgasm.</p><p>He grabbed Armin by those blond, long strands and marked the final compass as his thrusts became faster and deeper. He could hear Armin's soft noises breaking that nocturnal silence, pushing him near the edge. He was sure he would still reach his orgasm just by hearing him moan. </p><p>At the great end, he pulled himself out of Armin’s mouth and ejaculated over his own hand, throwing his head back and letting all the distorted lights consume him. His ears were hearing some sort of buzz, his eyes shut tight and fingers trembling. It was nothing like the first time he experienced an orgasm, of course it wasn’t.</p><p>This had been totally different. </p><p>Much more appealing, so hot it left his mind spinning all around.</p><p>It took him several seconds to gain the minimum control over himself, pulling out of his pocket a tiny cloth and cleaning the cum on his hand. He fixed his clothes and stared at the confused, flushed mess Armin was. He stayed still in front of him, trying to readjust his breath.</p><p> –I’m not letting you swallow my cum, Armin. That’s something I’m not sure about yet –</p><p>He stated, realizing Armin was confused because of him releasing his seed out of his mouth. Actually, he did that thinking about the blond. It would have been easier, more pleasant to just cum inside him, but maybe that was not what Armin wanted. Maybe it would have disgusted him.</p><p> –I got it, sir. I was afraid I did something wrong –</p><p> –You did a fucking amazing job, Arlert –</p><p>Levi said, surrendering his impulses and cupping his cheek. Armin seemed to like the ephemeral contact, like a stray cat longing for caresses.</p><p> –I… Thank you, I guess? –</p><p>His already flushed face became redder, and Levi tried to put on a reassuring expression. He was sure the boy was expecting him to praise him, to tell him he did good. </p><p>–It was better than I expected–</p><p>Armin nodded, and Levi caught a glimpse of a proud smile on his face. </p><p>–I’m glad it didn’t make you uncomfortable, captain–</p><p>–Oh, like hell it did. I’m surprised someone came up with the idea of sucking someone’s cock, but it surely feels good–</p><p>Armin chuckled, finding Levi’s sincerity funny. The man was always saying just what he was thinking.</p><p>–Yeah, probably the first person who sucked a dick is feeling proud at hell, seeing just how huge his discovery became–</p><p>Levi raised a brow, surprised by Armin’s joke. He didn’t seem like the humorous type, but with every passing second he kept discovering more and more hidden facts about him.</p><p>–I hope he patented it–</p><p>This time, Armin laughed openly, and Levi showed a hint of a smile.</p><p>–Let’s go back, Armin. It’s late–<br/>
.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.<br/>
Next morning, Armin talked about his plan to Hange and Levi.</p><p>About going on a strike and showing people just how much the city needed the Survey Corps. Hange seemed hesitant at first, but just as Armin predicted, they had no other choice. There was not a B plan. </p><p>–So, you are sure, like, totally sure this will work?–</p><p>–No, it could fail but the worst that could happen is Survey Corps getting dissolved earlier–</p><p>The woman nodded, adjusting her glasses and sighing. Levi just remained silent, waiting for Hange’s decision. </p><p>–Let’s do that, then. We can even take it as our well deserved vacations!–</p><p>She tried to ease the mood, taking out her coat and stretching like a cat. Armin allowed himself to breath after hearing her resolution, smiling awkwardly. </p><p>–We have enough provisions for now, and we can even maintain ourselves a little longer if we obtain a great harvest next month. I hope this works as we expect, brilliant blondie–</p><p>Armin blushed at the nickname, and Levi felt something weird crawling up his chest. Was everyone able to make him blush like that? The thought bothered him for a reason he failed to understand.</p><p>–We are not on vacation, we still have a lot of work to do–</p><p>Was all he said, before heading out, leaving Armin with Hange.</p><p>He still had a lot of soldiers to scold and many duties to attend, and no matter how unfocused his mind was, he’d never ignore his responsibilities as the captain. So he went straight to the cafeteria, ready to make his fellows sweat the shit out of them at the training field.</p>
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